As we come to the end of this year and get ready to start the next, it is normal for us to be thinking of things we need to try to do differently. Many of us have made resolutions or set goals for ourselves in the past year and, as the year ends, we look back to see if we have made any progress. We also look forward to determine what things we would like to change next year. As we try to help ourselves and others have better lives, one of the most important things we can do is trust. It is important we trust ourselves and others as we try to make (and help them make) necessary and desired changes in our lives.
Nothing can derail our efforts to change our lives quicker than mistrust. What this looks like is judging ourselves, doubting ourselves and condemning ourselves. We identify things we would like to change, but then doubt we will be able to achieve them because we don’t have the work ethic or discipline to stick with it. We also doom ourselves to not changing, believing it will always be this way. An example would be saying you just have to have a life full of hurt and disappointment because that is what you have always had. You can start to believe that’s what your life is about.
We also throw this mistrust around toward others. We believe others have certain personality traits they can’t change, a lot of times because “they have always been that way.” We don’t allow in our minds that they will be able to change. We might also refuse to challenge others to do more and better because we don’t believe in their ability to carry it out.
The gift we can give each other and ourselves is trust mixed with a measure of patience. Although it may happen slowly, people do have the capacity to change and have things they want in their lives. I am not saying we can all have “the life we have always wanted,” but we can have good things and it is okay for us to have them. Trusting is allowing this to be true. It is coming to the belief that we can do some things differently through some process of change. Caring for yourself and others is trusting that you and they will be able to make that happen.
As we move into 2016, we trust that those around us can make the changes they desire and commit to walking alongside and supporting them as it happens. It is our job to allow space for change to happen. It is NOT our job to judge or condemn anyone and prevent them from getting what they want from their lives. It may not be perfect, but there is a meaningful life awaiting all of us. Hopefully, we can move closer to it in the next year. We are along for the ride and look forward to what the year brings.
Happy holidays and best wishes as we look back, look forward and look beyond to the meaningful life we desire.