Tag: Couples

Should I Try to Change My Partner? The Paradox in Couple Relationships

November 5

By Joel Ybarra, LCMFT

It is common for couples to wonder whether they should try to “change” one another. At times, partners are merely making simple requests of one another, such as asking for a hand with the groceries, but other times, it may seem like they’re asking their partner to change part of their personality. Couple relationships are a delicate balance between accepting our partners for who they are and seeking to get our own “needs” met. The best relationships are the ones in which there is unconditional acceptance, so where do our needs and desires (or even simple … Read more

Your Couple Relationship: Everything Right There In Front of You

September 14

By Joel Ybarra, LCMFT

Most couples, at some point in their relationship, have difficulty developing, deepening or sustaining intimacy. Contrary to the beliefs of the couples themselves, the intimacy is probably already there in their relationship and can be experienced just by stepping back and providing the space for it to develop (and avoiding the typical raging upset that occurs when it is gone). The problem is there are usually interactions that come between partners that prevent the intimacy from coming forth.

Most couples come into therapy reporting some version of this story: “When we first got together, we were … Read more